Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
she was stuffing dove chocolates in my mouth while giving me a blow job. GOD I LOVE VALENTINES DAY
funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
at one point he was caressing me in the kitchen asking me my name over and over again and then asking what my favorite continent was
They both just did a shot, head butted each other, did another shot and then slapped each other in the face. These could be the two guys we've been looking for all our lives
Confirmed. Vegetarians give terrible head.
All my credit cards need to be pressure washed
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
he just exposed your dildo usage to the table.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
No way man ... This is real life. Complete sentences and everything.
My penis is lonely
So is my ring finger
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