Anal astronaut?
Wow word travels fast.
If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I think id rather eat ped egg shavings.
It's almost like sex with her has gotten boring... like it's still good, but the creativity is lacking... it's times like these that i wish she still wanted me to gag her
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
I can't look at him without thinking about his cum face
Everything tastes like Lysol. Am I dying?
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
we just drove past a kid stuck in a tree what a wonderful time to be alive
Gave her a puke bucket just in case. She filled the bottom of it with tears. Super sad. Although I am super proud she didn't puke. That was a lot of Fireball.
I just caught my bangs on fire trying to lite a bowl while driving. Thank god it wasn't my eyebrows like last time.
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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