woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
i just looked at my contacts and realized i saved the pizza hut girl's number as "fckucin pizza" the other night.
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
P.S. The slutty NASCAR driver costume will be saved and used year round for role play.
Just bought koolaid for my vodka in a DARE shirt with my NES wallet. I'm everything I thought I'd be when I was 8.
Except even better, boobs get discounts.
I'm going to call you, don't answer. Need to practice moaning to your answering machine again
Just called a girl a cunt over peanuts. I think we both know it wasn't just about the peanuts.
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
This is not a costume party, I'm just wearing fairy wings.
Of course you are.
Please make sure you have solid number of friends around you that wouldn't be afraid to break a bottle and stab someone. If you're planning on drinking all of that, you're going to need a safety net.
I think there's a problem with society when I'm shopping for lingerie and I think "man some of these would make kickass shirts"
Rigtt?!
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
She pulled out a water gun filled with vodka and called it her weapon of choice tonight. She's fine.
I aimed for bossy but it came out slutty
He just fucked me into paralysis. can't feel my hands or face.
Randomize
