Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
If they ask for a stool sample we r no longer friends.
dude.. you lit a cigarette on the bus and told the driver it was okay because you were fire marshall of your boy scout troop
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
There's a big bag of salt and vinegar chips and a Budweiser for when you wake up. Don't say I never did anything for you.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
Summer bikini season begins today. I hereby declare the commencement of the 2013 HUNT FOR CUNT.
I am taking a candle lit bath, blasting some tupac and smoking a fat bowl. This is how every night should end. Did you go take a piss in his car yet?
I stood in my living room with two beers in my hand asking these said beers if they were going to drink each other. I then insisted that I would drink them and chugged both. Happy Halloween.
I have loved her ever since she went down on my first wife
I just watched my mom pour beer into her vodka and drink it.
I have easymac and six pack of beer. This night can't get any better.
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