Well, she's an atheist who is addicted to the Sims.
Who isn't?
and in the morning, while we were eating breakfast, she was all " i think someone sneezed into my shirt..." she'll never know.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
i drunkenly decided i was going to take down all the male cheerleaders, gay or not. 1 down about 10 more to go.
found used condoms and an omlet in my uggs. I'm disgusted but not surprised.
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
I have a huge gash on my chin. Did I get it from A) a mini siezure; B) an oral sex incident; C) Slamming it into a ledge or; D) all of the above?
I'm skyping with my parents and reading Cosmo articles on giving great head. I'm on a roller coaster that only goes up, baby.
You called to teach me about fire safety, meowed a whole bunch, said "I hope you are not on fire" and hung up.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Came so hard my ears popped. This lovely piece of news and pissin in my driveway brought to you by rum
I just had a spiritual connection with my sweater and did ballet in the hallway. Alone. I'd say we're gonna chalk that up as a win for marijuana and call it a night
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
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