Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
So she said she wears a diaper when she's on her period and I'm not going to lie, I kind of want to see the diaper.
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
We used a lit joint as a candle for her birthday cake
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
She was a little hefty, so I turned on the strobe light in our room. Everything looks better with a strobe light.
It's disgusting. He breathes through his mouth and just sounds fat. Plus he chews all loud and shit.
Both guys that I'm dating were waiting for me in the parking lot after work. Literally the most awkward situation I have ever been in
The important thing is that she is gone, presumably back to the depths of hell from whence she came.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
How do you politely tell someone to get out of your house in Russian
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
