You know, as long as there were ice cream breaks, I would totally eat chips for a living.
final count. 18 beers. 4 shots baileys. 2 shots vodka. 1 glass champagne. vomited in the yard after losing my phone in a field for 8 hours. Possibly played tag with myself
i just licked mashed potatoes off my blackberry. i'm not even ashamed to admit that to you.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I'm taking last night back. It officially didn't happen. Tell your friends.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
You got ahold of his prescription papers and gave out prescriptions for cranberry and vodka
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
more embarrassing than that time i showed up to class in my hoodie and leggings because i over slept, and then as i zipped my hoodie down i realized i didn't sleep with a bra on or a shirt
One day soon I'll learn the difference between a good high and way too high. Today is not the day.
I'll have a whole suitcase of emergency bacon with me obviously
I want to fling myself into the sun
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
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