my door was closed and her door was closed but even over the r.kelly playing at full blast i was able to hear her say "THAT'S NOT THE RIGHT HOLE!". Def rethinking my roommate situation.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
You know you're fucked up when you throw your phone on the roof of the bar to show how good the Otter Box works.
Just came out of my room at 8 AM to find 2 pounds of raw hamburger and a half eaten cake strewn across the hallway. And I'm not surprised at all.
the coastal evacuation route ends at my vagina so you can just skip the bullshit and come over
I think this hangover is going to kill me. If it succeeds I would like you to read a dramatic rendition of 'Trapped in the closet' complete with interpretative dance at my funeral.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
This Halloween will be different. I'm just here to get shitfaced, not troll around looking for slutty nun pussy.
Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
Slept with the roommate last night and also discovered that she believes in eugenics. I may need to slow down my drinking
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
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