Being back home for the summer opens up so many opportunities to have sex without increasing my number
he put on The Eye of the Tiger while she was in labor.
I know I am usually the slut but tonight it's her. She is being a slut, yes slut, T as in Tomorrow, U as in Uterus, L as in Llama and S as in Sangria. That spells slut, but backwards and that's what she is being.
drunk waterpark is besst waterpark.
He sent me a 7 minute voicemail of him playing wonderwall on the acoustic guitar I'm not even kidding did he seriously think that would work
Your biggest crisis right now is that you can't decide whether to keep hooking up with AN NFL PLAYER or try to rekindle your relationship with your ex. You are a walking white girl problem.
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
Your trash is full of condoms and yoohoos what a great life we live
Long story short, I found someone who takes me seriously when I say I have a Shakespeare kink.
I just went on etsy and my personalized suggestions on the page were either kinky sex restraints or baby things. I feel like etsy just summarized my life.
Would you consider masturbating to Hocus Pocus an adulthood high or low?
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
I apologize for there being a shopping cart in the living room. I don't know how why or where i got it.
I'm going to leave the 5 dollars that fell out of my bra while fucking in his room on the dresser as an apology
She’s either doing coke or thinks my cock has the Covid vaccine. Either way I haven’t worn clothes in 3 days
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