ok i said sorry. what else do you want?
100 blowjobs
I may not go down in history, but i will definitely go down on your little sister.
Im dancing with my grandma to Low right now at the wedding. There's no coming back from this.
my shit smells like andre
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
I feel like none of my dresses scream slut the way I'd like them to
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
It's only 10 in the morning...josh is already on the way to the ER for trying to shotgun a beer with a sparklers sticking out of it on fire.
I drove 5 hours to see her. She thanked me by getting shitfaced, inviting her boyfriend over, and making me sleep on the couch after I cooked for them and did the dishes. You're right. I'm a fucking doormat.
You are the alcoholic guardian angel of raccoons
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
If we all have the time, and the weather permits, and you have no plans, we should have another go at Operation Get Our Carless Friends Laid. All the lonely people will be out. We can take our lonely people out too.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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