I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
I sat alone in Buffalo Wild Wings eating chocolate cake on Country Western karoake night. The waiter asked me if I was ok. Twice.
the "its better than getting an actual virus from an actual porn star" argument failed.
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
do you think if she looks enough like a dude i have to come out to my parents?
Please be advised that because of last year's "incident" we will no be starting St. Pat's day with spicy breakfast burritos and car bombs. Please plan accordingly.
I do wanna see you. And we can just lay here and watch a movie and listen to me cry.
She sent pictures and the names of her 2 cats and her dog and told me that I should be happy to have met the whole family.
You must be good in bed dude
buying a tattoo gun on ebay just sounded like a good idea at the time idk man
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
What's your opinion on eating ass? Just looking for a yes or no
Randomize
