I am too high to leave where I am...And they are listening to Stained. This is my living hell.
so exactly how many freshman chicks did i tell to call me "the tripod"?
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
I can't be held responsible for my own vagina. Let's just be honest here.
Ummm. I just wanna say this now: Don't let me invite the band back to the apartment to see my stripper pole.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Goats are brash and offensive and cocky animals
Are you high and at a petting zoo again?
Im sorry that my initial plan of you grabbing his dick didnt work out but Im glad you grabbed his heart
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
And, omg, my eyelids are on fire. I think the internet let me down. :(
I have one goal now that I am in the USA. To find a man I can fuck into marriage before my visa runs out.
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
If this adventure is going to get us arrested it'll have to wait until Wednesday so that I can bail myself out.
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
