discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
the last thing i remember was trying to convince him to call over his girlfriend so we could have a threesome
It' a whole new level of walk of shame. I'm carrying his sheets since I have a washer/dryer.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
I'm making a will, in it I'm leaving you my skull.
The guy I blew who bought us all the shots last night? I really think he's the TV guy I'm watching give the local weather. Like right now.
I kept telling you not to give them blowjobs, but you kept screaming back, "it's okay, we're friends on facebook!"
my very deepest apologies for the unintentional cock block.
Why did you buy a cock ring?
I’m going to propose to his penis
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