Why is my head in the toilet this morning but there is vomit behind the toilet
well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
before i could say "i'm not that kind of girl", i was.
After going down on me he either said "there, it's over" or "there's an odor"... I couldn't hear him and was too embarrassed to ask him to repeat himself. I just got dressed, grabbed my bag, and left. So I don't think there's gunna be a second date. =(
I'm gonna put my relationship status as "widowed" to see if it helps me get some poon.
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Fucking her was like skydiving commando in a flightsuit made of kittens
Dude it was bad... like you fell asleep around the toilet after drinking from the back tank bad.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
By god, his vagina is better looking than mine.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I got wine drunk and bought a hedgehog.
i may have just googled 'is philly rioting right now'
Randomize
