He keeps looking? I tried to shag. I invited him to this table but he went to ze other one! If he shaves his 'tache I would totally hit it.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
I was just given a safe word. It's going it be an interesting night.
he just kept saying "come on iron man, you can do this!" to himself the whole time..
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
I have a meeting at work in an hour, I'm so hungover going outside is NOT happening there are roads and shit I'll totally get myself killed.
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
yeah true but how easily can you rip a scrotum
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
Randomize
