i'm going to rape that little man
omg not your brother
its not stalking. its research.
Would you let Jessica Biel poop in front of you to see her naked...but you have to wipe her too?
so... my grandma just told me i should be a stripper
well at least shes not calling you fat anymore
Did we have sex last night or did we just wake up naked covered in oil?
I'm going to write a letter. It's going to say, Dear Every Girl Ever: Take some goddam initiative and wake me up with a blowjob and I will eat out of your hand. Love, Every Guy Ever
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
ERIN AND I ARE GETTING MATCHING VIBRATORS. I'M PEER PRESSURING YOU INTO JOINING THE CLUB. Besides we're the three best friends that anyone could have, you better not ruin that by being a pussy and not treating your pussy to awesomeness. That is all.
I mean I puked all over three separate towns last night and I still think you're the one who should reevaluate their life.
We need to find out what drug we took so we can take it everyday from here on out
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
Randomize
