okay pat passed out under dana's car
dude that girl has seen more cock ends then weekends
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
the laptop wouldn't balance on his lap. that's how well endowed he is.
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
They were taking shots out of the caps of perfume bottles. This is too much for me.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Oh my god i hate key west. No one takes amex and strippers took all my money
Took three klonopin and turned all my jeans into jorts. I miss you
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
her fuck buddy was butt ass naked in our kitchen making waffles but they tasted so bomb
I mean metaphorically. Literally zombies have yet to invade. Let's be rational here.
Randomize