1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
Fun fact: when I ripped off my wristband, I punched myself in the face. Rad
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
I would pay so much money for a video of you fucking a sheep
I hid 4 bags of cocaine in your house. Have fun finding them
You going to midnight mass? we need a dd
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I did, I'm just saying. Once the drinking starts my nipples are no longer my control.
I said you have to fuck the german guy and take one for the team...it's a once in a lifetime opportunity you know.
So neither of us had a dollar bill and we couldnt find a straw so we spent all nite doing coke through penne pasta
I love how four vibrators are within reach of me right now, but not a single hair brush or comb
Jesus when did you leave my house? I found 2 bottles of wine, vodka, and a book with blow all over it wondering if I was read bedtime stories
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
Randomize
