guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
She was walking with the authority that 2 beers gave to a light weight.
I've banged too many servicemen's wives to still be considered an American.
And your hair- I'd make sure to pee on it first.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
THINK! exactly how many raw eggs did you color and hide in my apt.
Well I just put wine in my tea
Haha no we did it on his bed. Then rolled off into the bean bag. It was a strangely athletic performance on my behalf.
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Oh I'm sorry does your girlfriend send you better pictures of things in her ass? No? Didn't think so. Remember that the next time you wanna complain how I don't make the first move enough.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
Oh my god my purse is too heavy for me to dance with boys cause it has too many stolen sink faucets in it
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
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