And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
While I was fucking her, they came in and served us both weed from a hookah. best. friends. ever.
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
THAT FUCKER WASTED TWO OF MY COLORED CONDOMS! HE DIDN'T EVEN FUCKING FINISH IN IT HE JUST SLAPPED IT ON AND WASTED IT!
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Are you considering all the consequences of doing your boss or are you just rationalizing with your vagina?
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
Why does 2015 have to start with so many regrets?
This bird just went for my eyes. Does he think I'm dead???
I'm sure if Robin Williams was still with us he would want you to see boobs.
Whatever you have to do, STALL THEM. Your toothbrush is in the kitchen, my pants are on the balcony, and I don't have eyebrows.
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
...okay, you can't just say 'masturbating llama' and not explain yourself
Randomize
