i just google imaged poop.
you know your drunk when 7 soccer players cant catch up to a tranny in high heels who just stole your wallet
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Fuck you. how could you leave me passed out hangin out my truck window when you knew it was starting to rain?
I doubt were getting our security deposit back... the toilet just fell off the wall
I know you hold the fastest time for "zoo downhill wheelchair racing" but I don't see what that has to do with this.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
He told me he doesn't want to fuck anymore because he needs to focus on school. Either he grew a vagina or he's secretly gay, it has to be one of the two.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
what i'd really like is a nice helping of naked boyfriend with a side of naked boyfriend.
We had sex and then stood naked in his living room eating zucchini bread.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I think I accidentally got a sugar daddy but I was already planning on sleeping with him so I’m going to see where this goes
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