You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
You could have chosen coming to fuck me over getting too hammered to drive. But you made your bed, and now you get to jack off alone in it.
my grandpa is going down the line on this prom picture, and telling me how big everyone's nipples are... he was spot on for me.
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
Is it a bad thing that I'm trimming my nose hairs in anticipation for the 8ball to be delivered?
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
She told me I should be proud of my dick pics, then told me she was in love with me, then I dropped her off at her boyfriend's. I was a new kind of failure tonight.
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
The Domino's delivery guy is in front of me at The Wendy's drive-through. Hmmm.....
Randomize
