so pretty much your parents know your seeing a girl on the side, let her come over and just dont say anything to your girlfriend?
He broke up with me by playing Lynyrd Skynyrd "Free Bird".
u ever jackoff with ur legs spread and pretend ur fuckin urself as a girl and get mad u'll never know what that feels like. Or to fly like a bird?
Did u absorb a fraternal twin in the womb?
So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
whoever set the energy saving light timer in the lobby bathroom cleraly has no concept how long a work dump takes
I think we should get high on adderall and nair each other again for New years.
We should hook up after this. Laugh or look horrified to say yes.
I woke up on the dog bed, bottle of alcohol still in hand and my thong was hanging off the family portrait.... Yikes
And as cleavage season comes to a close, so blooms a new season of yoga pants. And the people rejoiced.
Thank you for caring about my cervix.
the conference was great. we had to hide the acid in a planter in front of the department of agriculture though
i almost threw up on his dick. its like icarus, flew too close to the sun. except the sun is his dick and my throat was icarus
Also, do you have any insight as to WHY I have a note saved from the 17th of June that reads *clears throat*, "you got that swanky blues libido"
Yeah everywhere i go i feel like a 3rd or 5th or (2n+1)th wheel. That's right, i'm a mathematically depressed drunk.
Randomize
