im never drinking mad dog again and i have your belt.
I'm pretty sure I left my reasoning skills at home last night, and just brought anger and rage with me.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
They just yellow carded someone for spilling a drink because it was a party foul. Love germans.
Call me when your ready for an explanation about the ham in your vagina.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
logically I know i should probably study somewhere outside my dorm room, but if I do that then I cant drink and smoke half as much while i study
My drug dealer is giving me a 15% veterans discount on my weed for nov 11th
That's the best thing I've heard all week.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
I texted him: “Come over for the Super Bowl. I promise lots of scoring.”
My divorce is turning into a porn script
Randomize
