fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
Hes drunk and dancing naked. I can hear his dick smacking his legs from the next room.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
Only in my life does a conversation about Hanukkah lead to sexting
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
I wish I could send you one of those donuts I had. Like teleport it to you. Because it would change your life
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
It's difficult to focus on bonds when you know your classmate peed in your mouth
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
