Just did shots with my boss to warm up for our sales call to Childrens Hospital. I love startups.
If my nicknames are based on what I throw up, you can call me Jimmy Johns
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Dude, she brought over peach cobbler, weed and alcohol plus I'm gonna get laid. She's by far the coolest sister you have.
Well I let her practice her tattooing on me. This shaky dragon on my arm says Im getting laid.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
It all went downhill when I figured out I could launch myself into people with my crutches
We may not see eye-to-eye on much, but I'm definitely willing to let you see eye-to-vagina again.
Just whatever you do, don't neglect the balls.
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Dude, he turned on “London Bridge” by Fergie and GAVE ME A LAP DANCE.
Can you leave her a note saying "did you enjoy watching me fuck your roommate?"
I will.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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