I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
and then when she swallowed her birth control with a shot of vodka and looked in my direction, i knew it was time to go.
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
Just quiet vomiting, and in between heaves she mumbled "be the pro"
Thanks to her sunglasses tan, I can't look at her when she blows me cause it's like getting blown by a raccoon. A very talented raccoon
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
She said we couldnt stop drinking until there were enough bottles to make a fort. so we could have sex in our "bottle castle"
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
You didn't say, "No." And you stole more than half of my Snickers. You owed me that dick.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
I swear to god if I see a single piece of genitalia I'm driving back to LI and smacking you back to the Italian Renaissance
You shouted “im bobby labonte!” In the process of shoutgunning a beer. He said you were too redneck for him...
all I remember is screming at her "I want you and your tortillas... DEAD"
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