I saw his package. It spoke to me.
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
These old people don't even realize they're giving me weed money for shoveling snow.
I pulled out and her Nuva ring was around my dick... It was like I won a carnival game for adults... I asked her where my big stuffed bear was
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
I told her I was going to masterbate myself into a coma... We have another date on Thursday.
P.s. I wore your shirt today and it has your blood all over it, but I am at a funeral home and they are using embalming fluid to get your blood stains out right now.
Sorry I called bc I needed help peeing outside
But I did it
I look excited, but its just a facade.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
