Ever since he's come out, my facebook stalking experience has gotten uncomfortable
He thanked me for being "his little blond pogo stick last night". Good thing?
I'm surrounded by 3 year olds in tutus. They are far too innocent to be within at least 500 ft of me.
I'm having a self conscious moment and I need your complete honest opinion of my boobs.
so the good news is that i can't possibly burn my eyelashes off tonight at the bbq.
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Don't patronize me, I thought of that on peyote, so it was basically like a message from God.
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Drunkness level: fluent in olde norse
Saying someone's good at giving head is like saying someone is good at pouring juice like there is that one girl who will spill it everywhere but for the most part it's not that hard to be good at
it's not that I hate people, I just want to rip most of their faces off.
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I got my period today and I cried tears of joy. And then just cried because my cramps are actually killing me from the inside out.
I wanna trust fall face first on a penis.
Randomize
