I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
a slip n slide in 50degree weather was the 2nd dumbest thing i have ever done. the 1st was hitting the wooden fence i believed was supposed to "help us stop"
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
What would you do if you came home and i was in nothing but the table cloth?
Convinced the domino's pizza delivery person to go to shaws and buy me a bottle of wild turkey. For america.
There's a fried egg and an empty bottle of reddiwhip in the parking lot. Did you have fun last night?
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
We can just chill or day drink or smoke or watch law and order marathon or play just dance 4 or watch a movie or go to the movies or play hide and seek or hug, so many options
i can't believe i'm giving you sex advice.
i've gotten sex advice under stranger situations. like while giving a blowjob behind the communications building.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
The fact I have to evaluate my choice between tequila and fruity pebbles is a clear image of my life right now
Good news y'all just straight up snorted 2 adderall and I'm not a real being on this plane of existence anymore and I'm ready for finals
I ran into the marine at the grocery store. Its like my vag and his penis have this way of finding each other when I least want it.
Randomize
