Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
dude, I'm watching paul blart mall cop. I have better things to do than listen to you whine about your recent divorce.
no, I didn't make it. Instead, i watched VH1 for... 13 hours? I use the question mark because I was using Flavor Flav's clocks to tell time after the first 3 hours.
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
You were too busy being proud of your penis shaped pancakes to notice...
You're going to have to tell him your name isn't Ivor McTruckson eventually.
So the first 4 hours of my morning was equivalent to seeing under water. Things were starting to get better until I remember I drank mustard for free stuff and flossed my teeth with a strand of hair from a stranger in the bathroom.
So Monday we're lesbians.
Deal. This decision is final and any rebates on this will result in losing an eyeball.
There is a mobile STD testing unit set up at my place of employment. In the lunchroom. I may need to reevaluate my career choices. And my lunch plans.
He also turned out to be underage (the fucking liar) so we had to get drunk on cooking sherry
I feel a whole lot better than i did this morning at 3 when one of my roommates discovered me slightly aware of my surroundings and naked in the bath tub with the shower on
maby next time we don't finish the whole box wine just because it tastes like shit
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
Why is my hat full of peanuts?
Don't throw them out, I'm on my way
Randomize
