i am not above fucking your little sister on your bed
If God's watching us, we might as well be entertaining
WHY WOULD YOU LET ME MAKE THAT MUCH NOISE DURING SEX IN RESIDENCE ?!
I tried to push your face into the pillow but then you kicked like a donkey.
I love tequila.
I think I reached optimum potential when I summersaulted straight into a kiddie pool.
No, earlier you attempted Jenga with everyones shoes.
Your penis chewing exercise is not working
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
i cant believe im seriously wearing his ex girlfriends underwear right now
Side note, from now on any snap chat I get that isn't interesting enough... Is getting a dick in response. Judge your snaps accordingly
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
I think my nap took me to another dimension
I'm going to sleep with this bank teller and I'm going to enjoy it, just try and stop me
You know that feeling when you wake up and your whole body just smells like a penis?
We were walking to the bar with a group of people and literally made 4 stops in people's lawns garages or random walls for him to eat me out
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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