Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
i puked in the mini-firdge
we don't have a mini-fridge?
bought one. it ws too cheap to pass up. xcept now there's puke in it,,, but the freezer's fine so i feel pretty good about that
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
He would drink pee if it was in a beer can
Just saw the bridesmaid use her new sister in law as a stripper pole
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
its like my accent is a device for a 100% chance of sex every time i leave the apartment. i love being english in this country.
The squirrels were at the front door. Dude I swear..
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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