someone called me shannon dorrhety annnd it hurt my feelingsd.
No better way to find a friend than to offer cyber sex and see what happens
we talked about european history as he fucked me from behind in the shower... i think it was a success
Thats two for two birthdays where I've gotten the "alcoholism runs in the family" speech
i'm sorry, i thought "hey, she wants TO FUCK YOU" was a good enough cue
You passed out across the stairs with your feet and arms through the railings so you "wouldn't fall down when you blacked out and no one could get the pizza past you without waking you up". \n\nYou're the smartest drunk I know.
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I Can't even believe I threw all my pizza rolls at her, I mean not only did i ruin a good meal but now I dont have anymore
Turning 21 will be slightly bittersweet. Never again will I be able to get underage drunk at Disney World, now I'll only be able to get legal drunk and that just sets a whole different and sad tone for my life.
I am very happy to share that the hospital says the testicle pain is normal and that they are going to take care of it.
Idk. It's not appealing to me. Like don't get me wrong, I love ur dick A LOT but I don't want to stare at it on an iPhone screen
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
Possibly having a threesome with my ex boyfriend and his current girlfriend was great closure on that subject
He said I could stop sending ass pics now and just say hello. I'm not sure if that means he's no longer interested, or that he's a gentleman??
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
Randomize