How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
What ever happened to the whole 'innocent until proven guilty' thing. Like 'not pregnant until proven pregnant'. That's how it should be...
You know this who 'I show my love by being a total dick' thing is getting old, right?
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
I posted her number in the m4m casual encounters area of Craigslist.
I guess her always saying "gay men love me!" will finally get put to the test.
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
In other news, I just threw up my burrito and am currently on all fours literally crawling back to my bed
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
They have one of those claw machines here... with a dildo in it...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
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