Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
all he gave me for my birthday was sperm
at least its a homemade gift
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
Scary. I thought trees were a lie and that someone ha permanently stenciled them into my life. No joke.
I just imagined you going baby-crazy and trying to shove him up into your uterus. Yes, I'm aware he's 7 years old.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
In other news, I'm pretty sure my mom was encouraging me to have a threesome yesterday... I don't even want to start digging in that garden of horror and trauma.
I just told a bottle to be chill
and meant it
Letting Freddy Krueger eat me out = HAPPY HALLOWEEN TO ME!!!
I need my sock, sombrero, maracas, and I just heard I had a light saber, if thats the case...i want that back too
I had such a bad bruise on my knees from blowing him so much, he asked if he could sign it...
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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