He just left - my room smells like that cheese they put on nachos and cigarettes and beef
Yo quero taco bell
can u get pink eye on your cock?
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
I REALLY appreciate you guys taking care of me when im wasted but i think its weird when i wake up in different clothes than black out in
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
what part of "i slept with our hot teacher" are you not excited about?!
the part where you beat me to him
fair enough.
Your christmas gifts are already wrapped, how on top of my shit am I?
I'm hungover as fuck and had to break into my own house by throwing a cinder block through my back door at 4am. You're more on top of your shit than me.
but im not going to tell the owner of the penis of my dreams how to wear his hair.
And then we were riding the keg in the pool like an 8 second rodeo...naked.
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
I'm getting drunk by myself again. But I'm not shotgunning any of them. That's self-restraint, right?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
