this is amy. the small petlike person from the womens bathroom at the reef.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
We told the pizza man that the door was most likely unlocked, he could leave the pizza on the counter and give himself 20%. He did it-I'm never moving out of Aspen.
I need to get my pants from under your porch. People are asking questions.
I just won't go as hard tonight. Four dollar ladies night drink or drown is not a good idea for me. I like to get my money's worth.
Oh man I'm using the bubble wrap that wraped my new vibrator to wrap my dads fathers day gift
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
it was like teleporting. everytime i opened my eyes, i was somewhere different... usually the floor.
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I don't need to know how horny your mother is, hun.
Yeah ok. We can maid of honor each other since you don't like my boobs enough to lesbian marry me
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
She actually made an event on facebook for tomorrow when she does a pregnancy test, 8 people are attenting so far
Is it wrong that I have to schedule a family Sunday brunch around my mom's weekly banging of my stepdad. And why do I even know this??
Randomize
