I'm gonna do things to you that will make the neighbors want to move.
so i was creeping on him today and there was like nothing new except he became a fan of getting dome
i wish i could be like. "i like giving dome, lets be friends"
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
I'm sorry for what I said earlier...your vagina wouldn't look funny If you had a kid.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
At the end of the night you handed the bartender a piece of paper with the word "VISA" written on it.
I don't even know why im sitting in this office eating a poptart.
The liquor store guy just accused me of buying alcohol of minors due to how many bottles I got. The guy should be used to this from me.
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
A guy with a mustache poured a beer down your throat while you had a crippled boy named Sunshine riding your back
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
My grandma just invited me to gate crash a funeral for the free food. Priorities.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Randomize
