What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
It was confusing and full of hummus
Everybody was literally kung fu fighting
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
Need to stop getting stoned with this chick, I keep waking up covered in pizza sauce
using smirnoff bottles as a pillow actually isnt as uncomfortable as you would think
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Women are fucking wierd. I have forgotten this. Divorce papers should come with a handbook.
I feel like I just gave a blowjob to a freight train.
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
I gave him a bj as a thank you for helping. I think that's good.
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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