i'm sitting in the library realizing that the 2 most productive things i did this weekend was have sex and go to the liquor store...
I swear there's a gravitational pull from your vagina to large groups of men in uniform.
Ok just don't go to jail. I saw your account balance. It can't take that.
It's called "lets see how many European capitals we can do the walk of shame through in one year"
The pigeons can smell the fear
Wtf
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Whatever. I am not explaining the physics of my dick slapping.
It's amazing how hard it it while drunk to not comment "fuck you" on dumb peoples' statuses
I have a 30 pack and enough condoms to last until tomorrow morning. Have Mystery Science Theater 3000 ready. I'm on my way over.
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
We got a lap dance! I touched a boob!
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
well, shes hot as hell, but she does keep saying she's the president of the loch ness monster's fan club, so that's kinda a red flag...
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