Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
How do you not remember seeing the kid from our chem lab table and repeatedly yelling "lab partners for life!" at him?
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
What can I say, I just want your vagina in my mouth.
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