I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
guess what. just found out I had mono. no wonder alcohol didn't taste good on nye
you were holding her hair as she threw up saying "I'm going to be a great doctor" repeatedly.
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
We're not in high school anymore. I'm not going to pretend to be impressed as he butchers my favorite songs on his guitar. I just wanted to get laid.
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
Clearly I was drunk when I met them I gave them a muffin. But they sure remembered me
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Now that it's over, I can finally say it and not feel bad,dude. Her mustache is better than yours.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
my mom is feeding me weed brownies...god help us
Randomize
