yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
What do you want? Don't say anything that would make me look like a pussy at the store.
false alarm. still invincible.
you dont have to exercise, you threw up last night!
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it bad that my walk of shame involves the church shuttle?
So I'm at the VFW tonight and the shot special here is straight 151 for 2 dollars. They must hate our livers
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
Maybe if I get to know him I'll stop wanting to fuck his wife so much.
If a clean cut ginger with a flannel and tattoos shows up at the apartment, he is allowed inside.
Lord give me the strength to not check my tinder messages at my grandmother's wake.
If the multiverse is real, would you screw yourself? I'd screw myself.
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