he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
eating mexican with the mother in law. this meal made her decide to tell us about her colon cleansing diet
so my dad walked in on us having sex
lulz really? why?
lets just say he wont be answering to 'daddy' for a loooooong time
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
i should probably find things i have in common with someone besides drinking, before having sex with them
she was eating donuts out of the garbage. enough said.
My phone now knows what I type and it prompts me with frequently used words. And anytime I use "and" and hit the space key two of the words are "unicorn" and "sausage"
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
I felt like I was selling my soul to satan but then I realized I already pawned it for drug money
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
After this weekend my vagina will follow his penis anywhere. It’s like the pied piper, but with penis
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