Right on... I dropped my chapstick
I blacked out
My mom is giving me a "don't tape yourself during sex" talk. It's going to be a long car ride.
I would have been "that girl" at the party last night if it wasn't for that girl who puked in the potted plant...
Soooo my gf got the droid and doesn't have BBM anymore, I think its over for her
You say "I'm in class" like it matters... I'm getting a little tired of having to smoke by myself at 4:20 because you're in class.
i'm going to look back at this as the time of my life when i casually dated that autistic guy
Chalk up having sex in a car wash.
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
how is telling me how long you drunkenly fucked someone supposed to make me miss you?
I was at that stage of drunk where it seemed appropriate to just make out with everyone. As like a greeting.
I hear you
I love that your nipples always taste like clean laundry.
Driving home this morning in my minion costume makes me rethink the 0 tint on my windows.
Would it be weird if i sent him a "happy fuckiversary" text?
how do I say, without sounding slutty... That I can take a dick?
admittedly, geting that drunk in front of my last two exes wasnt a good idea
probably didn't help that you cheated on them with each other either
Randomize