I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
Four minutes until I can fart!
Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
I'm cooking a can of baked beans on the baseboard heater. It is too early in the semester to be this poor.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
You are in my phone as "Thigh Gap" and you apparently work for "DO NOT DRUNK TEXT, INC." That is why I called you six times last night. So unless you take a second job at "NO DRUNK DIALING LLC" expect more. PS I am sober so this is legit.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
Randomize
