Whatever. They have the same name, so it's not even cheating. It's brand loyalty.
advice for life: when the cop takes your tallboy, don't ask for your coozy back
Yes, yes she is. This will teach her not to pull her vibrator out and harass people with it at parties.
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
Too lazy to make dinner. Had chocolate and scotch instead. Check in with me in a half hour.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I just spent 20 minutes in a Subway trying to take a candid photo of the doppleganger of the guy I lost my virginity to instead of eating. That's all the evidence I need that my life is on track.
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
I'm pretty sure "good advice you would give to a freshman for achieving success" isn't constituted by introducing them to your addy dealer...
it is my civic duty to ensure the success of our youth.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
They took the TVs out of the gym and the mini-Mart only had 2% milk. 2015 wants me to be fat
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
It’s like a sexy version of those choose your own adventure books from when we were kids. No matter what you choose, there will be penis!
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Randomize
