If the pens lose tonight I'm gonna drive to Detroit and burn 8 mile to the ground.
Actually I may do that regardless. Probably get my own holiday.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
my Prof for my bio lab has his lab coat collar popped. it's 8 am and im too hungover for this guy
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
I just watched a blind kid buy from one of the vending machines on campus...guess there's nothing like a good surprise?
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
omg. MEgabus. stoned.
Theres these two guys talking.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
I need something that says "I'm gay sometimes but I feel scorned by my straight, non-committal lover, so I'm here to get drunk and make out, and possibly end up in a bathroom with someone who's name I won't remember tomorrow"
Oh btw, ur tongue should count as a second cock it's that good
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
She demanded to see my stimulus package, I had to go over.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize