grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
If I've learned one thing today? Blow jobs get you to state championships.
Alright. Who did it? Who's bangin' the ump?
I have two girls sleeping in my bed naked and I ended up making it to class, what were you saying about staying in on the weekdays?
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
Pretty sure they aren't letting me back to karaoke night after I screamed "fuck every one of you tasteless hillbillies!!" because I felt they didn't clap loud enough for Jen.
So apparently I ended up throwing my clothes in the toilet after getting kicked out of TQ and ran around the neighborhood in my boxers. Works gonna suck hard once this hangover kicks in. Also: I lost a shoe so looks like flipflops for the rest of winter
I really shouldn't have to tell you to stop banging your lightsaber on everything while we are in college.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I got laid two nights in a row
And none for Gretchen Wieners...
I was christened with Fireball shots by some guy at the bar. I'm practically Jesus now.
the roommate is literally cooking green eggs n ham, and I'm too hungover to see straight. Dr Seuss nightmare.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Randomize
