Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
Tried to eat a sandwich this morning. Couldn't. My jaw is locked up. These marathon blow jobs are killing me
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
I don't know if I'm more excited about getting chipotle or about getting laid
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
On a scale of 1-10, how inappropriate is it to sneak into someone's box of sex toys and put googly eyes on their vibrator?
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize