Haha na a cat just ran under your car. Howd that happen?
Probably a woman cat. Doesnt think things through
Nothing too bad. Lost a stuffed horse on a stick and tore my clothes off. Again.
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
He seems like he has feelings, which is completely unacceptable; esp for a boy in college.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
I was passed out on the dog bed yelling "I UNDERSTAND"
Every time I think about it I can feel His toe in my mouth and I gag, I'm scarred for life.
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
Our first kiss happened while shot gunning a hit from a gravity bong. Its that type of relationship.
Are we gonna talk about that cunnilingus snap
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
if they didn't want us to do blow at uni, why would they make textbooks so smooth?
Randomize
