Just hit on a fat chick so shed buy me a drink. Then i walked away. Nice to see how the other half lives.
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
dude that bald bouncer just did a body shot off of brian and then kicked us out for trying to charge him for it
Of course it was necessary for me to call the strip club and ask what their shower policy is. Smelled like she was wiping her ass with my eyebrows during that dollar dance.
I was gonna tell her, but there were too many tongues in my mouth
So another one of your girlfriends from middle school had a baby. Thank god you are gay, otherwise you would definitely be a dad by now.
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I dropped my keys into the toaster and felt it push down as I pulled them out. Couldn't stop thinking it was a bad idea the whole time.
I still don't know how you've lived this long.
Also, I would just like to reiterate my apologies for tearing up in the grocery store.
Should I tell this TSA agent his fly is down while he is trying to hit on this chick?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
THERE IS A DOG IN THE CLUB. I repeat a dog in the club. I might have laid down and petted it..I have no shame.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
