capt morgan doesn't hurt if you honestly believe it's golden flavored kool-aid.
I have a sudden craving for National Treasure 2. THIS IS WHY DRUGS ARE AWESOME
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
Her vagina felt like a fur coat. It was weird at first but I kinda liked it
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
You stole my camera, took a picture of yourself and said "that's beautiful, just as beautiful as our waitress".
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Ive been thinking this might sound random.. But we need a piano in our house next year specifically for railing chicks on it.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
If there was a card that said "I'm sorry for throwing up on your bathroom counter" I would send it to you.
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
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