she is the kim kardashian of front butts
I just read the lonely terrorist on nwa had 40 more friends than me on facebook
i knew it was time to break up with him once he pulled out the Halo foreplay costumes
I woke up to his little sister feeling me up. I guess it's time to meet the family.
Just a heads up. Everytime I get arrested in Maine I claim I lost my ID and use your name.
I knew it was time to leave Waffle House when you started singing "What's Your Fantasy" to your hash browns.
I had a dream about a turtle sitting on top of a horse skull. I'm certain its a symbol for my dead sex life. Trust me.
The cops caught them pow wowing in the teepee at the entrance of the golf course at 5 am. But were still missing someone.
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
The only thing I'm asking santa for is my period.
And vodka?
And vodka.
I saw that you sent me a photo and the first thing out of my mouth was "I swear if it's another photo of a dick poking out of a bubble bath"
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
I hope a pyrotechnic goes off in your asshole and seals it shut for life.
Me too.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
We had sex on a couch that was held together by Velcro. Want to know an unsexy sound? Velcro ripping apart under your bare ass.
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