That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Ok love is a little strong. But he consented to Nachos, beer and board game date with my cats. Keeper.
The amount of pregnancy tests I've taken in my life is unhealthy
Yeah he's still asleep. I washed the blender out. He tried to make a ham-shake. Lets wait until after break to have that talk. I kind of want to see where this goes.
So, your mugshot picture is behind the counter at B-Dubs, with the caption: "not allowed on premesis."
Quick question. What's the protocol on going back to a bar after going home with one of their bartenders?
Go back and try to find another to go home with.
It's just not a Friday night unless I'm getting propositioned by a guy in a wheelchair via Facebook messenger...
If we accept the love we think we deserve do we also accept the sex we think we deserve?
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
My mom just told me not to dance on any tables on Halloween...I'm choosing to take that statement as a joke
I'm disgusted with myself. Who goes down on their Uber driver? This asshole
dude, totally just walked home...using pizza as gloves
eating pizza to get the taste of dick out my mouth wby
Randomize
