the girls on my floor started fighting over who got to keep the random hoodies that boys forgot in my room after sex
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
you're just mad cause i madeout with you while having a mouth full of chewed pretzels
I maybe late, he's in a peeing contest with the neighbor's dog. Currently he's in the lead.
The only reason I'd ever want a boyfriend is so that someone would spoon feed me applesauce when I'm so hungover I can't move
I'm gonna lurk in the mother fucking bushes and watch karma take him down like a gimpy gazelle.
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
The yoga party turned into an underwear party because we are all incompetent when it comes to tying bed sheets.
This has been a Party Success Story
Yeah I just don't know how I feel about my fuck buddy coming to work at my dads office with me.
He just asked me to be his girlfriend while having sex on his parents kitchen counter
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
