i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Is it weird that we showed each other our pussy's and pointed out the good and bad things about each others??
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
never trust anyone who drives a pt cruiser.... write that down
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
Off topic, but is it sad that Matthew and I are calculating how much sex we need to have in order to work off a taco bell burrito?
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
i'm calling it my monica lewinsky shirt now. may it live forever in infamy.
so he had an ashton kutcher Kelso haircurt. dude, we're in our mid to late 20s, I don't think we can ridicule guys for having hair anymore.
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
Saw the guy I once slept with, he was buying Beer and shit tone of diapers. Glad to see how 2016 will turn out.
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I did crash a prom last night though.. It was fun
I'm gonna have to start putting baby wipes and a change of pants in my bag. The amount of times I'm scared of shitting my pants in public is too high and I need the reassurance
Randomize
