The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
i wanna do a homemade sex video in sepia and pretend were in the early 20th c
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
I just called my mom 'Napoleon bronaparte'. I need to stop hanging out with you.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
College is the ONLY place where you can pass off morning sickness as being hungover. I'm currently pouring beer in a spray bottle so I can spray it on myself and smell drunk.
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Taco Bell drive through. Chick got out of the car in front of us and threw up on the hood of my car!
Not okay.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You will never be paid again to get drunk and tell off cops without being arrested. Once in a lifetime opportunity
You're right. Fuck my job. I'm in.
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
I felt kinda awkward walking into his house in nothing but lingerie and my dead grandmas overcoat
He was cheering for me from the end of the bar as I sloppily ate a Ruben sandwich. It made me feel really special.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Randomize
